I Wish That Was Enough
by The Not Normal One
Summary: The aftermath of the conversation between Zero and Jude in the arena. "I love you, Stupid"/"I love you, too" but unfortunately, it wasn't enough. Slash. Zero/Jude. Zude.


**A/N:** So, this is much unexpected. Even for me. And you'll know why after you are done reading it. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Jude drove for almost two hours after leaving Zero at the arena after their conversation. His whole body felt numb, but his heart… his heart felt like it was breaking over and over and over again.

When he finally came to sense, he found himself parked in front of Lionel's place. Probably because in some part of his brain, he knew that she was the only one he could talk to about any of it – about himself, about Zero, about… well, anything really!

Lionel was expecting to have a quiet night alone. She definitely wasn't expecting Jude to be knocking at her door at midnight. But there he was, looking like a kicked puppy, and she couldn't just not let him in.

 _Well… there goes my quiet night,_ she thought.

Jude plopped down on the couch unceremoniously, while Lionel went to the kitchen to get the essentials. A carton on Ben & Jerry's, two spoons and a bottle of wine in her hands, she sat down next to him. They won't be needing glasses tonight.

Both of them sat in a silence for a while, binging on ice cream and occasionally taking a sip of wine, which was more of a gulp in Jude's case. After almost half an hour of that, Lionel had had enough.

"Okay! What's going on?" she asked.

Jude got startled for a moment before sighing. When he knocked on Lionel's door, he knew he would have to talk to her. He was just hoping for a little bit more time.

"He told me he loved me." Jude said after a while.

"That… was not what I was expecting. Isn't that a good thing? I thought you would be ecstatic about it, not _this…_ I thought you loved him." She said, confused beyond reason.

Jude huffed out a humourless laugh.

"I do. And that's the problem." He said, confusing Lionel even more.

"He loves me, but… well, it's not enough. He won't be with me, or he can't. I don't really know anymore!"

"Oh!" There was not much Lionel could say to that.

"Yeah! I know!" and there was that laugh again.

Lionel sighed before pulling him into a half-hug.

"You want me to trade him?" she asked, "Just say the word."

Jude laughed for real this time.

"No" he shook his head. His heart filling with gratitude for Lionel, coz no matter what, he knew that she would always have his back.

"No" he repeated. "It's gonna be business as usual. And I want him to succeed. He deserves that."

Lionel was about to contradict him, probably say something along the lines that Zero was a dick, but Jude cut her off before she could start.

"You know me, Lionel. I'm not that guy. And he's not a bad person, not to me at least. Moreover, I could never do something to intentionally hurt him. I love him too much for that." Jude said that with a sad smile, making Lionel frown.

"I know" she said at last. She knew she wouldn't be able to change his mind. It was one of the reasons she liked him so much, after all. He was the exact opposite of his sperm donor.

"It's just sad, you know" Jude said after a while. "He loves me, but he won't be with me. He wants me to be happy, but he can't give me the one thing that _can_ make me happy. And that's not fair! Life's not fair."

"Honey…" she chuckled, "When has it ever been fair?"

Jude shook his head in defeat. Lionel was right, life was hardly fair.

"He wants me to be his, but he won't give himself to me. And I can't… I can't do this anymore, this push and pull and … I deserve better." he said. Jude was trying for conviction, but it came out more of a whine by the end.

"You do. You deserve so much more." She said, rubbing his shoulders soothingly.

"Anyway" Jude took a deep breath before trying to get up from the couch, "It's late. I should get moving."

"Oh! No, mister! You are not going anywhere like this. You will sleep it off in of the guest rooms, so that _I_ can sleep peacefully, and not worry about you." She said, leaving no room for argument.

Jude knew to pick his battles when it came to Lionel, and despite him not wanting to bother her anymore than what he already had, he relented to her wishes.

Neither said anything as Lionel showed him to one of the guest rooms, and then she went back to hers, leaving him to his own devices.

Jude took off his suit, washed up for the night before plopping down on the bed. He was too exhausted to even think anymore tonight.

But of course, his mind wouldn't let him go to sleep, without Zero invading his thoughts.

Before he fell asleep, he thought of the man he loved. Zero was looking at him, smiling the way he did when he was being adorable. He was smiling that smile, the one which only Jude got to see. The one which was just for him.

Zero was calling him 'Stupid', but the affection behind that moniker could not be missed.

His last though before Jude fell asleep was; _I wish that was enough._

* * *

 **A/N:** So… like I said, this was really unexpected. The reason being, I have never watched the show.

I came across this couple, this amazing chemistry, while video surfing on YouTube and just fell in love. With both of them! It's not just Jude who is Team Zero, I am too.

The good thing about YouTube is, I have watched every single scene of these two men, without having to watch the whole show and still knowing everything that I can know about them.

Zero and Jude make such an amazing couple, they have such great chemistry and their story is just _so_ good. I just absolutely love them.

And Lionel, she is another character I have come across while surfing every fan made "Zude" video I could possibly watch, and I love her just because she is Team Jude.

But I know Adam Senn has left the show after season 3 and while I had thought I would start watching the show from the beginning, this news broke my heart. So I am still undecided whether I am going to follow this show or not.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this. Do leave your comment behind. I might come up with a sort of sequel. Maybe. Who knows!

*kiss kiss*  
S


End file.
